How focusing on 20 specific mins a day can make us better parents

As a parent we have so many responsibilities through the day. The list of tasks goes seems endless. From getting the kids ready for school, drop offs, and pick-ups after school. Preparing healthy meals and getting lunches ready for the next day. Then running the kids to their activities.  Trying to ensure sure everything in the house is running smoothly (or at least functioning). Finally bedtime for the kids, and then hopefully there is a bit of time at the end of the day for yourself. On top of all that, fit work in and exercise. Phew – I’m tired just writing that.

We question ourselves daily on if we have done a good job with parenting and place a lot of pressure on ourselves and feel a lot of guilt on a daily basis.  Given our limited time, it is important to focus on the minutes that make the biggest impact. What are the 20 most important minutes of the day?  How can focusing on those 20 mins of the day make our time with our kids less rushed, and more positive for them and us?

What are the most important 20 mins?

I read about these 20 key minutes before I had kids and it stuck with me. I am not sure where I read them though, it might have been a Facebook post years ago.  I have been trying to do my best during these specific 20 mins of the day with my kids knowing that they have the most positive impact on their well-being and my relationship with them.

20 mins – easy peasy right? That seems doable!

Here they are:

• The first 5 mins kids wake up
• The last 5 mins before kids go to school
• The first 5 mins kids come home from school
• The last 5 mins before kids go to sleep

Still easy peasy? Hmm…. Now the 20 mins might not seem quite as easy right, because we all know those transition points can be challenging. We are in a rush, sometimes running late, and a lot of times we are all tired and hungry.

But, if you think about each of these 5 min blocks separately and see if any of them are already smooth and enjoyable for your family then you are already on your way. For example, the first 5 mins my kids wake up has always gone pretty smoothly in our house and the first 5 mins after school.

On the other hand, the 5 mins before they go to school is many days, chaotic. This one is tough because everyone is always rushing around finding those things they need to take to school and work.  Why does one shoe or 1 mitt always disappear at this time – it’s like magic. Annoying magic! I definitely need to focus more on ways to make those last 5 mins before school better.

What 5 mins are the hardest for you?

Ideas to make those 20 mins positive:

 

First 5 mins they wake up

• If you need to wake your child up for school give your child a bit of time to fully wake up. Don’t wait until the last minute so they have to rush. Go in 5 mins earlier and maybe quietly rub their back for a minute and tell them you love them and that you are proud of them and that today is going to be a great day. Maybe tell them what the weather is like so they can start planning what to wear while they are laying there. Or even better, have them or you pick their outfit the night before, then there is no thinking required.

Last 5 mins before they go to school

• In order to combat this crunch time, we make lunches the night before and we try to find all the things that need to go to school that day – like library books or violins or signed paperwork the night before. Sounds good right? I’m definitely still working on this one. I know what I need to do, I just don’t always do it. If you drive your kids to school either chat with them about what is going on that day or maybe pick a fun song for you to all sing along to on the way to school.

First 5 mins when they come home from school

• This could be different depending on if you pick your kids up from school or they arrive at the house after school. This can also be rushed if the kids have activities right after school. You know your child best, so do they just want a snack and a little bit of quiet after school? Or do they want to talk? Focus on finding out how their day was or what they learned about today. Did anyone make them laugh?  Did they find anything hard today or did anything upset them?  I also think most kids are hungry at this time. So, if dinner isn’t for a bit, letting them have a healthy snack either in the car will hopefully help.

Last 5 mins of the day

• Some kids just don’t want to go to bed.  I find that my kids seem to argue with each other more at this time because they are tired. Having a normal bedtime routine is helpful. Perhaps read to the kids together and then spend at least 5 mins with each of them separately before they go to sleep. We talk about their 3 most favorite parts of the day and usually end of talking about something in more detail. Then hugs and kisses and lots of love.

Hopefully this helped you think about those 20 important minutes of the day and ideas that would work best for your family and kids to make these minutes more positive.

Other ideas for these 20 important mins?  Please share, I would love to hear what works for other people to make these 20 mins more enjoyable.

If you love this post – check out my post on 10 Amazing Children’s Books that Inspire a Love of Reading