Do you want to be happy? Of course, you do. Happiness is the holy grail of life. But what defines happiness and how can we boost it in 2023 to transform our lives from mundane to amazing?

We have all experienced perhaps the most challenging years of our lives during the pandemic.  It has significantly affected all of us in different ways and severity. Early on during the pandemic, Yale offered its most popular course for free through Coursera, on how to be happy. As of today, over 4.1 million people have enrolled in this course. Clearly, figuring out how to be happy is essential for most people, especially during times of crisis.

Many studies have been done on what actually makes people happy. Understanding what has been proven scientifically to make the biggest difference in a person’s happiness, seems like the best place to start if you are trying to find a way back to happiness.

On a personal note, I have always been a happy and positive person.  I have read self-improvement books for years, working to continually better myself. That said, after my husband and I decided to separate after having been together since we were 20, my positive happy attitude understandably, took a significant nose-dive. I needed to figure out how to find my way back to being positive and happy. We all go through challenging times, and that was my worst to date. I knew I needed to refocus but on what, and how? Once I knew what makes people happy, then I could make a plan on where to focus my time and energy and what activities I should add into my own life.

I’m going to share what I read, listened to, and watched to find my way back to happiness and share the insights I learned. Hopefully, sharing these ideas will help you boost their happiness and make your life go from mundane to amazing.

What I Read, Listened to, and Watched

Listen and Watch

I first listened to a Ted Talk called ‘What Makes a Good Life?  Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness’ by Robert Waldinger. It summarizes the results of the longest study done on happiness by Harvard over a period of 75 years. This would be a good place to start to figure out what truly makes people happy.

I also signed up and took Yale’s free happiness course called the ‘Science of Well-Being’ through Coursera.  One of those 4.1 million people who took that course through the pandemic, is me. 😊 This course is taught by Professor Laurie Santos from Yale University. She also hosts a podcast called ‘The Happiness Lab’ which you should check out.

Read

In the past, I had read 2 books, that I revisited, believing they could help me prioritize what I should be concentrating on to get back to happy.

I re-read:

• ‘Thrive: The Third Metric to Redefining Success and Creating a Life of Well-Being, Wisdom and Wonder’ by Ariana Huffington which looks at what defines success in life. The book’s message is that success is not about making money.
• ‘Thrive: Finding Happiness the Blue Zones Way’, by Dan Buetta, which focuses on people in the blue zones that live extremely long. This book identifies the key factors of living long and well.

I compared what the 2 books, Ted Talk and course were all saying about what make us truly happy and identified 5 key areas they all mention.

What Do These Studies and Books Say Makes Us Happy?

 

Here are 5 areas to focus on to boost your happiness in 2023:

 

1. Physical Well-Being

A sick man only wants one thing; a healthy man wants a thousand things.

~Confucius

It should not be a surprise that having good health is one of the main factors to happiness. What is surprising is how many times people forgo taking care of their health. Taking the time to eat healthy, exercise, and get enough sleep are all known to help us be healthy, but we constantly neglect these areas. Health is key to being able to do the things you want to do and go where you want to go.

2. Learning and Growth

By prioritizing learning throughout your life, you will continue to grow and evolve. This will increase your happiness as you move forward, not allowing yourself to become bored with your own life. Be curious. Ask questions and read. Listen. Learning about the world and people around you can help you put your own life in perspective. You’ll learn what strengths you have and where you can improve.

There are so many ways to learn and grow.  Learn from talking to others with different viewpoints, from different backgrounds, from different countries. Listen to Ted Talks and podcasts. Take a course to learn a new skill or new language. Travel, travel and travel some more.  Keep growing. Find what sparks your curiosity and passions and foster them.

‘The more you read, the more things you will know. The more you learn, the more places you’ll go.’ – Dr. Seuss

3. Quality Relationships

Good relationships are ones where you feel you can count on the person in times of trouble. This type of relationship protects you from feeling lonely, reduces stress, reduces pain, and protects your brain functions including memories.

Quality relationships include those with your family, friends, and your community. These are the people who love and support you no matter what. Having time together to talk, laugh, and enjoy doing things together, has a big impact on your life.

Make sure the time you spend with friends and family is quality time. Time spent doing fun, new, or interesting things together. Not only is that time enjoyable, but it also creates bonds that will help you through times that aren’t so good.

On top of your family and friends, being part of a community is also important. That can be the community where you live or perhaps the people with whom you work, go to church, or volunteer. You may have a few different communities. Spending time with your community provides purpose to your life and creates a positive life for everyone.

4. Mindfulness

From Psychology Today,  ‘Mindfulness is a state of active, open attention to the present. This state is described as observing one’s thoughts and feelings without judging them as good or bad.’

Taking time to be mindful can mean different things to everyone. To some it is yoga others meditation or prayer. It is being present and savoring the moment. There have been so many studies done on the benefits of meditation. See this article in Forbes which talks about 10 Science-Backed Benefits Of Meditation – Forbes Health. Try meditating even for 5 mins. There are many apps that can help you meditate. I use both OURA and The Mirror.

In addition to mindfulness, being grateful has also been proven to significantly improve a person’s mood to appreciate the everyday small things in life. When you are looking for the good, you see the good.  Take time at the beginning or end of your day to think of at least 3 things you are grateful for. Don’t forget to teach your kids to be grateful too. See my article on How Gratitude Can Make you a Better Parent.

5. Give to Others

Serving others in whatever capacity you can, will significantly increase your happiness.  Give others the use your talents, your time, and or your money. Pick a charity that is meaningful to you. Or help out at your church or your child’s school or help a neighbor.  Volunteering as a family has double the happiness factor, helping others and spending quality time with your family. 

Plan Your Time Around What Matters Most 

 

What is the next step now that you know the keys to happiness? You know what you need to do to be happy, but how are you going to fit those activities into your life?  The next step is to plan to spend your valuable time, the right way. You can control how you spend your time.

Think of it like the concept of saving for retirement, you have to pay yourself first. In this case, pay yourself first with how you spend your time.  When saving for retirement if you spent all your money on your expenses and then whatever is left goes to retirement, let’s be honest, there wouldn’t be anything left for retirement.

The same goes for our time. If we first plan all the tasks we have to get done, like going to the dentist,

filling out paperwork, checking our email, and getting groceries etc., what we find is that there is no time left for the things that make a positive difference in our lives and ultimately provide us with happiness.

If we switch how we plan time for the month, making sure to prioritize all the activities that make us happy first, then can begin to control our life.

“Authentic happiness derives from raising the bar for yourself, not rating yourself against others.” ~Martin Seligman

How Can We Train Ourselves to Focus on What Matters?

 

To actually feel happy, like anything, you have to practice. Train yourself to focus on what matters and resist spending time on activities that actually reduce happiness.

Physically writing things down has been shown to have a greater impact on accomplishing your goals and staying on track. ‘Neuropsychologists have identified the “generation effect” which basically says individuals demonstrate better memory for material they’ve generated themselves than for material they’ve merely read.

…… Neuroscience explains ‘when you write down your goal, you get to access the “generation effect” twice: first, when you generate the goal (create a picture in your mind), and second, when you write it down because you’re essentially reprocessing or regenerating that image.’

I love to write my goals and check things off when I accomplish them, but I didn’t want to write unfocused goals.  Focusing my goals each month on what matters based on what has been proven to make people happy, was what I needed to do. 

posiLIVEity Journal

I created a journal specifically to help me focus my life on what matters most. This journal focuses you on planning your life in 4 key areas that have the greatest impact on a person’s happiness and quality of life.

• • • Learning and growth including mindfulness
    • Physical well-being
    • Relationships
    • Giving to others

Each month you will plan time to focus on you and your health first as this is the core of all happiness.

• • • Positive mind –how will you learn and grow this month?
    • Positive body – what physical activities will you do, and what wellness practices will you enjoy?

Once you have looked after yourself, you will plan time to focus on your relationships – family and friends.

• • • Positive relationships – how will you spend time with your family and friends this month?

The final area you will plan is on how to give to others.

• • • Positive giving – how will you help others this month? Will you give time and/or money and to what?

Once your month has been planned out in all four key areas you will live each day living a life focused on what matters, leading to a more fulfilling life. Each day you will express gratitude for what happened during the day that made your mind, body, relationships, and others better. You will practice mindfulness activities and focus on how you helped someone. This will keep you present, happy, and living positively – posiLIVEity!

Live life more positively in 2023 with this daily journal! Staying positive, focusing, and prioritizing your time on what matters most to you, will boost your happiness and help make your life go from mundane to amazing!

If you would like to use this journal as well to keep you present, happy, and living positively throughout 2023, please follow the link to access the posiLIVEity journal at Amazon